As the end of the year approaches, you may start hearing the word bounenkai everywhere in Japan. A bounenkai(忘年会 / ぼうねんかい) is a year-end gathering held to show appreciation for the past year’s hard work and to strengthen relationships. True to the literal meaning—“forget the year”—a bounenkai is designed to help people let go of the difficulties and challenges of the year so they can welcome the new one with a fresh mindset. It is a uniquely Japanese tradition.
Bounenkai can take many forms. Some are held in business settings, such as with colleagues, supervisors, or clients. Others are private gatherings with close friends.
For many foreign residents, questions may arise: Where should I sit? Who should serve shared dishes? How honest can I be in conversation?
It is natural to feel uncertain about proper behavior at a bounenkai.
This article, supervised and written by Chikako Higuchi, Etiquette and Communication Training Instructor, explains the key do’s and don’ts of bounenkai etiquette in a clear and practical way.
About the Supervisor & Writer
Chikako Higuchi
Expert in Etiquette and Communication;
Former Shiseido Beauty Consultant. At Shiseido, gained deep expertise in hospitality, aesthetics, and understanding customers’ needs. Moved to KidZania Tokyo, a job-experience theme park for children, to share these skills. Earned the Outstanding Supervisor Award for delivering courteous service and led staff etiquette training.
Later, trained over 20,000 people in etiquette across the country. Involved in publishing, writing columns, supervising magazine articles, and appearing in the media.
Who This Article Is For
This guide is designed for foreign residents living in Japan who want to confidently participate in a bounenkai, whether for work or with friends. It is especially helpful for those unfamiliar with Japanese year-end party customs, etiquette, and social expectations, and for anyone seeking practical advice on how to navigate seating, greetings, drinking, conversation, and dining manners while maintaining respect and professionalism.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: The Meaning and Purpose of a Bounenkai
In business settings, a bounenkai is much more than a simple party. It serves two important purposes.
The first is to express appreciation for the year’s efforts. Business leaders and supervisors use this occasion to thank employees for their hard work with the phrase “otsukaresama”, which conveys a sense of deep appreciation and respect. In English, it can be understood as “Thank you for your hard work” or “I appreciate everything you’ve done this year.” Even in workplaces without strict hierarchies, colleagues acknowledge and celebrate each other’s efforts in the same spirit of otsukaresama.
The second purpose is to strengthen team unity. A bounenkai provides a valuable chance for people to connect beyond departments or positions. It allows colleagues who rarely talk during normal work hours to interact, exchange information, and build rapport.
Over the course of a year, every workplace experiences stress, misunderstandings, or small conflicts. A bounenkai is an opportunity to set these aside and end the year on peaceful, positive terms so everyone can welcome the new year with a calm and refreshed mindset.
In Japan, there is even a coined term, “nomunication,” a blend of nomu (to drink) and communication. Sharing drinks is seen as an ideal way to deepen human relationships. At a business bounenkai, people often speak more openly, and participants can discover new sides of their supervisors and colleagues—helping the entire team build stronger connections.
Chapter 2: Bounenkai Do’s
This chapter reviews the essential manners expected at a bounenkai so foreign residents can join with confidence and enjoy the gathering in a culturally appropriate way.
1-1. Clothing and Appearance
Most business bounenkai take place directly after work, so participants typically attend in their usual office attire, such as a suit. Even if you come straight from the office, maintaining a clean and well-groomed appearance is important. Treat it as an extension of the workplace.
If casual clothing is acceptable, choose smart casual outfits that feel polished and match the mood of the restaurant or izakaya. For private bounenkai, the dress code is flexible, but choose something that fits both the group and the venue. A thoughtful outfit shows respect for the occasion and for the people hosting it.
1-2. Time and Greetings
Punctuality is essential. Arriving late disrupts the flow of the event and is considered discourteous.
When greeting others, the standard phrase is “Kotoshi mo otsukaresama deshita”, which means “Thank you for your hard work this year.” This expression carries warmth, respect, and appreciation, making it ideal for year-end gatherings.
Most bounenkai include three brief formal remarks: the opening greeting, the toast, and the closing message. These are given by appointed participants. During each speech, face the speaker and listen attentively. Avoid side conversations until the remarks are finished.
If you must leave early, notify the organizer or your direct supervisor in advance. Choose a moment that does not interrupt the program. When leaving, say “Osaki ni shitsurei shimasu” (“Please excuse me for leaving early”). At larger events, greeting the host, your supervisor, and nearby colleagues is sufficient.
1-3. Seating Etiquette
Japanese gatherings often follow seating protocol. The seat farthest from the entrance is the kamiza (seat of honor), reserved for senior members or guests. The seat closest to the entrance is the shimoza, where junior members or hosts sit.
If someone directs you to a seat, follow their guidance. If you choose your own seat, avoid sitting in the seat of honor before senior members arrive.
Related Post
1-4. Toast and Drinking Manners
At many bounenkai, the host invites someone to give a toast. Eating and drinking formally begin after this toast, not before.
A typical toast may begin with:
“Everyone, otsukaresama deshita. Thank you for your hard work throughout the year. Let’s continue supporting one another in the coming year.”
“Please raise your glasses.”
“Wishing you continued success—kanpai!”
After the toast, exchange a brief “kanpai” with those around you before taking your first sip. Drinking before the toast is considered improper.
Japanese drinking culture also includes offering refills. When someone’s glass is nearly empty, check whether they would like another drink. If beer bottles or sake are available on the table, pour for others using both hands while keeping the label facing up. When someone pours for you, lift your glass with both hands. Leaving it on the table while receiving a pour is considered impolite.
If there are no bottles available, simply ask, “What would you like to drink next?” and help facilitate the next order. If you do not drink alcohol, state it politely.
1-5. Conversation and Communication
A bounenkai is meant to be uplifting and help everyone end the year on a positive note. Use the occasion to express appreciation that is difficult to mention during busy workdays. Sharing gratitude creates a warm and supportive atmosphere.
Choose positive, light topics such as hobbies, travel, food, or entertainment. These conversations help colleagues discover new sides of each other beyond the workplace.
Alcohol can lower inhibitions, but maintaining courtesy is essential. Continue using respectful language with supervisors and senior members. As voices tend to rise during group gatherings, be mindful of your volume so the environment remains comfortable for everyone.
1-6. Dining Manners
Familiarity with basic Japanese dining etiquette, including proper chopstick handling, helps the meal proceed smoothly.
When shared dishes are served, it is traditionally the role of junior members to portion food for the group. However, the most practical approach is for the person closest to the dish—regardless of rank—to take the lead. A simple, considerate phrase such as, “Shall I serve this? Is there anything you prefer not to eat?” makes the experience comfortable for everyone.
At the same time, many groups today prefer not to place too much pressure on any single person. Some prefer that each participant serve themselves. Follow the atmosphere of the group and choose the approach that keeps everyone relaxed.
Chapter 3: Bounenkai Don’ts
A bounenkai is a relaxed and enjoyable gathering, but respect, courtesy, and consideration for others are essential. To ensure a smooth and pleasant experience for everyone, it is important to be aware of behaviors to avoid.
3-1. Speaking Too Loudly or Causing a Disturbance
While bounenkai are meant to be lively, avoid speaking so loudly that you disturb other participants or the venue. Pay special attention when someone is giving a speech or addressing the group—remain quiet and attentive.
3-2. Excessive Use of Mobile Phones
Constantly using your phone is considered rude. If an urgent call arrives, step away from the table to take it, and keep the call brief so you can return promptly.
3-3. Failing to Return a Pour
In Japanese drinking culture, there is a concept called “sashitsu-sasaretsu”, which refers to the mutual exchange of pouring drinks. If someone pours for you, it is polite to reciprocate. Failing to return a pour is considered impolite and breaks the flow of social etiquette.
3-4. Overindulging in Alcohol
Alcohol is meant to be enjoyed, but losing self-control is a major breach of etiquette. Becoming heavily intoxicated or requiring assistance inconveniences others and can disrupt the event. Drink responsibly to ensure the evening remains pleasant for all.
3-5. Discussing Negative or Sensitive Topics
A bounenkai is a time to close the year on a positive note. Avoid negative conversations, complaints, or criticisms about the company, supervisors, or colleagues. Sensitive topics such as salary, evaluations, or serious work discussions are inappropriate in this setting.
Political, religious, or controversial topics should also be avoided, as they can easily spark heated debates and create tension. Maintaining a friendly and light atmosphere is key, especially in workplace gatherings.
3-6. Posting on Social Media Without Permission
Do not post images or videos of participants on social media without their consent. Even if permitted, consider whether the content is appropriate for public sharing. Avoid posting photos of people in unflattering situations, behaving disorderly, or in a state of intoxication.
Also, ensure that no confidential information is visible and that posting respects participants’ privacy. Always check carefully before sharing anything online.
3-7. Leaving Without Saying Goodbye
It is considered rude to leave a bounenkai without greeting anyone. As this event is meant to foster goodwill, it is polite to stay until the end.
If you must leave early, inform the host, supervisor, or nearby colleagues before departing. Giving a brief reason, such as, “I need to leave early because the bus schedule is limited,” and adding a note of appreciation, such as, “Thank you very much for today,” demonstrates proper etiquette.
Chapter4: Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: I don’t drink alcohol. What should I do?
It is perfectly acceptable to be honest and say, “I don’t drink alcohol.” If someone offers to pour you a drink, a polite response is:
“Thank you. I don’t drink alcohol, but I appreciate the gesture.”
If you are sensitive to alcohol or cannot drink much, it is also fine to say: “I’ve had enough for now, thank you,” and politely decline further drinks. Honesty and politeness are always appreciated.
Q2: What does “Bureikō” mean?
Bureikō literally means “let’s forget hierarchy and relax at the drinking table.” It encourages participants to set aside formalities, enjoy themselves, and speak freely.
However, it does not mean that etiquette or respect can be ignored. It simply allows for more relaxed, friendly interaction than usual, while maintaining proper manners and consideration for others.
Q3: Should I attend the second party (nijikai)?
The nijikai is usually a more casual continuation of the main bounenkai. Attendance is optional. Participating can help strengthen relationships with colleagues, but it should not interfere with your work the next day.
It is perfectly acceptable to decline if you prefer. Politely saying that you cannot attend will not be considered rude.
Chapter5: Summary
A bounenkai is the perfect opportunity to close the year with the people who have supported and worked alongside you.
Whether with colleagues at work or close friends, the most important thing is to approach the gathering with gratitude and respect.
While being mindful of proper etiquette, allow yourself to relax and enjoy the occasion, celebrate the year’s achievements, and strengthen your connections with others.
We hope this guide helps you navigate bounenkai with confidence and ease. Thank you for reading.
